May 10th – 11th

As I lay in my bed I twist and turn to find my comfort zone but I fail to reach it. My pillows all over , my sheets with more wrinkles than a desert, my eyes bleeding crimson red. What can explain this feeling of unrest and anxiety ? Time feels as if seems to exist, but the second hand continues to creep. Night slowly turns into day , and a beam of light illuminates through the crevasse of the sky.  My first sleepless night in months. I wonder if my insomnia is back , or if my mind body and soul are at conflict with one another. Whatever the case maybe , I’m awake writing this excerpt from my life story.

Thoughts are relaying around my mind but there is a lack of contingency. It feels like I am breaking the laws of physics and all time and space by traveling through my memories. Each crossroads that I come across leads me to another time in my life where I find myself lost. I saw me two weeks ago, turned into two months , then two years. This trend continues and what I have observed is that I am still on the same path. Could it be destiny that keeps me on this path or is this the result of my poor decision making that has ket me here ? Ihave never been so certain about my uncertainty than now.

Final Portfolio

123-ashraf-portfolio

Process Folder

123-ashraf-1
123-ashraf-2
123-ashraf-3
123-ashraf-4
123-ashraf-5
123-ashraf-6

How To Get To Avenue Q ?

Avenue Q is just around the corner from every New York City dweller. It might seem to be far fetched but it is the condition of our urban environment. The avenue is one of a kind , where puppets and people alike live together in both harmony and chaos. Being the first adult puppet play in production, Avenue Q has set a new standard and image for puppets on Broadway. The innocent image of puppets of the past cannot match to the explicitness of the puppets on Avenue Q. Adults will think different about puppet after watching the play.

Avenue Q follows the after graduate life of Princeton Puppet. After completing his B.A in English , he settles down in New York City. With the money that he has he can only afford to live on Avenue Q. There he runs across a wide array of personalities. He meets a failing standup comic, ex-child star Gary Coleman, a therapist, a gay Republican , a slacker, a teacher’s aide , and a slut. Characters are played both humans the puppets and unlike Sesame’s Street, the puppets are shown with their puppeteer.

Avenue Q is the creation of Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx. Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx both mention they were influenced by Sesame Street creators Jim Henson and Frank Oz. Sesame Street was a movement that took the youth by storm when it first appeared on November 10,1969. After the first air showed, it has produced over four thousand episodes. The show was geared for toddlers and elementary school children. Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx are pioneers for orientating puppets towards the mature adult audience. The generations that grew up watching Sesame Street in the 1970’s, 1980’s and even the 1990’s would never have envisioned such a work of art as Avenue Q. Puppets appeared to be something of childish attraction where a Kermit sang “it’s not easy being Green”, now thanks to Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx that myth is gone. With its catchy thematic melodies and lyrics, the show was first produced at Vineyard Theatre in March of 2003. When it first opened it took about an estimated three million dollars to operate it Off-Broadway. It was critically acclaimed and gained popularity over night. It moved off Off-Broadway and on to the Broadway’s John Golden Theatre on July 31, 2003. Jenny Sandman, play review from Curtainup.com, calls Avenue Q “Hysterical. Truly hysterical. Avenue Q is Sesame Street meets The Simpsons with a touch of Sex and the City”.
Avenue Q is a cross product of Sesame’s Street and Real Road. It is everything that a five- year old would not be ready for but also everything that a twenty-five year old would understand and have a laugh about. The broad issues mentioned are very sensitive but also thrown around in the society that we live in today. The themes intertwine with the setting of the play and also the characters. The main theme is the idea of not fitting in and failing in life. Issues that some people are still uncertain to speak publically about were seen throughout the play. Issues such as open homosexuality, pornography, racism and explicit language are tossed around the hardwood stage like a rag ball. The play symbolizes the acceptance of those issues in our society where as just 10-20 years ago these issues would still be in the closet.

The environment of the show is set in the outer region New York City, it appeared to be some area of Manhattan but the location was not given a specific name. It feels that New York City was specifically because of the diversity and general idea that ambitious individuals move into the city to set the foundation for their future. What other city would be perfect for such a play ? New York City is the city where dreams could come true even with all the adversity. Again Avenue Q itself is not a real place, but a realistic concept of a diverse neighborhood. The environment interacts with the audience and makes the audience feel more at home.

The enjoyable characters of Trekkie Monster (parody of Cookie Monster ) and Rod and Nicky (parody of Ernie and Bert) are adored for their innocence. Their antics will have you in tears. It really does make you think about how innocent the real puppets are on Sesame’s Street are, just kidding. Since the show is for mature audience the puppets are college graduates and urban professionals seeking their big shot to success. At the beginning the word “Purpose” was introduced in Sesame’s Street style and this will be the general theme of the entire show. Within the show many themes are brought up and as satirical as they seem, the themes are serious. The play examines the purpose of all the characters both human and puppet alike. Princeton is not sure what his true purpose if life is. He feels that it is to succeed with his newly acquired B.A but does not feel that it will fulfill him. Love becomes a hot topic as the play progresses.
As the show continued on, one of the most predominant themes was the theme of love, sexuality and commitment. In the show majority of the characters are involved in some type of relationship either it is intimate or basic friendship. Rod , the homosexual puppet, is deeply in love with his roommate and best friend Nicky. Princeton falls in love with Kate Monster and also has an affair with Lucy The Slut. Brain and Christmas Eve are the non-puppet characters that are going to be engaged. The relationships involve the idea of freedom is sexual orientation, lust, real love, and marriage. All forms of that we can all relate to. All the characters are conflicted with these overall themes. There is a songs called “The Internet is for Porn”, and “If You Were Gay” that relate to the current hot issues within our society. Who would ever think that puppets would go this far on Broadway. There is one x-rated scene where Princeton and Kate are having passionate puppet sex. It is all out, as if no one was watching, when in reality the whole audience laughs and goes “oh my god”.
Racism is also a theme that reoccurs in the play. The divide between “Monsters” and People/Puppets is seen throughout the play. When Princeton is seen with Kate Monster, Lucy The Slut makes a remark towards “Monsters”. Also towards the end of the show , Trekkie Monster is apparently rich because of the shares he has in the porn industry and decides to donate a generous amount to help open Kate Monsters school for Monsters since Trekkie never got the chance to go to school. There is even a song titled “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist”. I loved the song because it had so much truth. No matter what people might act like, it heart there is a characteristic that they do not like about a people.

The puppets appear real as their puppeteers maneuver them with grace.. Stephanie D’Abruzzo does a superb job as Kate Monster and the same goes for John Tartaglia as Princeton. Puppets never appeared so human like before. The show itself has won multiple Tony Awards since its 2003 debut. Linda Winer , Staff Writer of News Day, states that Avenue Q” serves as a sort of entry-level musical for overeducated, underemployed college graduates with no prospects but plenty of idealism about making a difference in the world”.

The main factor for the plays fame has come from the idea that college graduates in the early twenties are lost due to many socio-economic factors. If this anything , this screen play is directly geared towards college students. Young adults before have never really thought of screen plays as the medium to connect to. It would usually be movies, or sitcoms on television that the twenty something age group would watch. Avenue Q has opened a whole new spectrum on Broadway for the college student.
I enjoyed Avenue Q a lot. It was the first Broadway show I seen since Def Poetry Jam before it was retired from Broadway. Avenue Q introduced many serious issues and mocked it with puppets just to show that these issues aren’t that serious. It proved that people should allow people to act as they wish and respect their views. The characters living on Avenue Q didn’t protest or fight because of all their difference. They lived in peace together and that is how everyone should live. All that is needed is a little respect of others views. Then again Avenue Q isn’t that far away from us all.

“Ave. Q” Stays Street Smart . 2003 August 1
Linda Winer | STAFF WRITER , 2008 ,April 24,
http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/stage/ny-p2winer23396487aug01,0,2521541.story?coll=ny-theater-headlines

Avenue Q Becomes a Broadway Baby
Jenny Sandman, 2008 April 24
http://www.curtainup.com/avenueq.html

Avenue Q , 2003 Aug 1
David Finkle , Staff Writer , 2008 April 24
http://www.theatermania.com/content/news.cfm?int_news_id=3763

If I Were to Die Today…

Tribute To Saiful Ashraf

Every time that I head out to the beach , to the place where the land and the water meet, I think about a friend. A friend that taught me more than any educator could. A friend that told me, “Time and tide waits for no man”, and now I understand what he meant.

He wasn’t perfect but yet he was more than human.
He wasn’t the best in everything but yet he was talented.
He wasn’t what I thought people like him should be, but yet he defied stereotypes.

I always told him that he was too stubborn for his own good, and his siblings would have been right there agreeing with me. But it was such qualities that allowed him to accomplish all that he did in his life. Saiful Ashraf also known as Honorable Brother A.K.A.D.E.M.I.K of the Iota Nu Delta Fraternity lived a life that many wish to live. A life of balance and equilibrium. The pendulum of his timeline stayed coherently in form. He always spoke about how hard it was growing up in Brooklyn his hometown but I never believed him. It’s much harder to grow up in the oat fields of Oklahoma, and he would laugh.

Saiful was a dreamer , a fighter , a hero , a brother, a son , and a best friend. His personality influenced all the people he came across. If I never met him I wouldn’t be here right now. Saiful had a diamond for a heart, the purest of things and also the hardest of things. He would talk about how he would go back to Bangladesh and build a hospital. That just shows his ability to care and be generous. He told me that he would do it because his father wished to do that for the people less fortunate. That just shows respect and honor for his parents. He was in a fraternity and also kept a close relationship with me. That shows his loyalty and friendship. He was in books more than he was into having a good time. I don’t know what that shows but never the less he was a man of many principles.

One of the main centers of his life was his family and his brotherhood. Many people knew him but didn’t know him on the same level as a hand full of people did. His brotherhood with Iota Nu Delta was the flame deep within him and his family was the fuel that kept that flame burning. He joined while having various family problems. He didn’t complain much about it and just told me that his family didn’t understand and that he needed to do it for himself. Then he realized that it was because of his family he was doing it and his parents loved him dearly and just wanted him home. That was when he became a man , he said. That was when he became a brother. Joining Iota Nu Delta is an accomplishment that only few people can show for and he did it. His head strong mentality was the driver of his mind, body , and soul.

Saiful loved his siblings the most, yes ALL five of them. As much as he yelled at them and made them cry, he would have been the first to cry if anything happened to them. He was closest to Nadia and his baby brother Sammy. He saw two sides of life that he himself did not get to see. He saw the innocence of childhood in Nadia and the joy of life in Sammy.

Saiful loved to be apart of everything. He joined as many organizations as he could and played vital roles in everyone of them. His favorite was playing baseball. Saiful was great at his pinnacle and was even rumored to be drafted by many minor league teams. He wasn’t perfect in school but boy was his grades some of the best. He was a determined and hard worker and it showed every time he got his grades back. There was this one time in his life that he was almost a year and a half behind in school work and he still managed to make up everything and graduate on time. There isn’t anyone that I one that did what he did. He always aimed high and for the stars, even if he didn’t hit the stars he would still be in space , higher than most people.

It difficult to continue this speech because no amount of words can describe the impact he had in the world during his time. He would never want people to mourn for him but to take his lessons and actions and better themselves to assure that the future would be a brighter place for all. He was a worldly man, one that didn’t conceal himself to materialistic dreams or the idea of fame. Saiful was more than just a man, he was a king , a king that wanted prosperity for his kingdom and for all the lands.

What is the difference between Theology and Religious Study?

Last semester I took a course in Religious Journalism and my professor reminded the class everyday that the class was not a religious study class but a class where you learn about all religions to expand you knowledge and minimize ignorance. I myself had attended a religious institution when I was younger and also learn about various religions throughout my academic years. Over that time I personally understood some of the differences between Theology and Religious Study.

Religious study is completely on another level when it is placed next to Theology. Religious study involves the basics of religions. Religious study does not involve any proselytizing. It is implemented in most schools so that students can understand the basic principles of various religions. Religious studies present a general overview of religions through more of a historical and cultural side rather than a personal connection.

Theology comes from the Greek terms “theos” and “logos” and means the study of God . It helps the person understand the religion that they choose to became a theologian in. It is about reasoning and understanding of religion and how it works. In theology from what I learned in class, it uses various mediums such as historical context, philosophical context, doctrinal and through many other ways. Theology is used to connect deeply with people and God.

Augustine’s Two Wills

As humans we have two will , one condition is to be “complete” will and the other is “set free” will where God has given humans the ability to chose a they please. It appears that one will has the tendency to act good and the other to act bad. Augustine says that’s in reality there is no two will’s but just one will. He states that God is the creator of good and God create humans to do good but gave humans free will , a will where they are allowed to do as they please. Evil cannot exist in the world because God is the creator of good. Evil does not exist but it rather comes from the free will we are given by God. God is not responsible for the evil because we create the evil. Evil itself is not a separate existence by it is the absence of good. To say that God knows what we will does not really mean that we have any freedom. God knows what we will but we have the ability to change that if we are so willing to. God has given us one will but our actions appear to divide the will into the willing and unwilling part. Augustine speaks of how “the flesh lust against the spirit and the spirit lust against the flesh”, and this is the basic conflict that humans face in everyday life. Their body tells them to do something but their spirit tell them not to. To will wholly is to will it and to do it with out any bodily compliance. This is true only when the mind and the body both obey the mind. It is easy for the body to obey the mind , but is much harder for the mind to obey the mind. You might do something but in reality your mind did not want to do it.

Sartre – Atheistic Existentialism

Everything one person does impacts all others that exist. That man is man and is what he is. He is there and recognizes that he exist and understands that he is responsible for what he does. He exist because he is born into this world as a blank slate. There is not innate purpose that comes along with his birth. People do not really have a purpose until they have matured and grown up in their surroundings. People do not have a set purpose unlike the paper cutter. The paper cutter’s purpose is to cut paper so , its essence is already established before its production. In the case of the paper cutter , the essence precedes existence. This applies to all objects that are created by human hands. For humans we exist without a purpose. We have no set purpose because we have free will. Free will allows us to pick and change our purpose in life. To view this through a religion level , we can say that god is the greatest clockmaker. He has created humans for a reason if he does exist . Since he is the ultimate creator , he has a purpose for us , thus essence precedes existence through a non atheistic perspective. Sartre states that we are thrown into existence and in the beginning we are nothing. We are nothing because we are incapable to think for ourselves. Sartre’s main point is that being human is existence and acting as an individual in this world. We create ourselves by existing and we create our purpose by existing. At the end of the day , everything that we do defines us. We do not have powers over others but we have the power over our own domain.

123-Saiful , discovery draft

123-saiful3

My First Year at St John

I can not believe that my first year of college is almost done. It feels like just yesterday I walked into my first class last semester. I did not know too many people and did not know what was ahead in the months to come. I wanted to make the most out of my college experience so I decided to join a fraternity. Before I knew it Finals came along in December and I was a new brother of the Iota Nu Delta Fraternity, INC. I did not accept much academically but somehow I earned a 3.9 GPA my fall semester. After finals I had about a whole month off before the Spring semester started. I actually missed school because at home there was not much to keep me occupied. School started once again and I thought I was ready for the Spring semester. The classes that I picked where much harder than the ones that I took last semester. I was constantly bombarded with exams every week, blog post , essays, and the constant strain of tedious term papers. Midterms for Spring came and I knew I did not do as well as last semester. When I saw my midterm slip, B’s were streaking through the paper. It was midterms , so I did not stress much, after all finals were the ones that really mattered. Not too much happened because most of the Spring semester I went home right after school. I did go on a road trip to NC STATE university towards the end of school. I really needed that break right before all my term papers and finals became. I am transferring to SUNY Stony Brook but am not sure which semester I am transferring to. It is most likely going to be in the Spring semester of 2009. I am looking forward to transferring and starting off fresh again. This transition will not be as hard because I have brothers at Stony Brook that I am pretty close to. So I will let the last 2 weeks of school ride out and look forward to the upcoming year….