Comments for Cypha_Sounds http://iamcypha.wordpress.com ~ Don't Get Gassed ~ Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:50:23 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on If I Were to Die Today… by mfrancois http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/if-i-were-to-die-today/#comment-122 mfrancois Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:50:23 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=53#comment-122 is this what you wanted? peace 1 Written Peer Response Essay writer’s name Saiful Peer’s name Mike Francois Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions. *1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here. It was interesting and I didn’t know that Greeks did all of these things around campus. 2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment? YES What do you see as that purpose? *3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay? People who would be interested are college kids unsure if they want to join a Fraternity or not. 4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject? The essay is directed freshmen in college and it is an appropriate audience for the subject. 5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth. a. b. *6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here. People shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and stop stereotyping. Is the thesis specific enough? YES *7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay. Par. 1 YES Par. 5 YES Par. 2 YES Par. 6 YES Par. 3 YES Par. 7 YES Par. 4 YES Par. 8 YES *8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment: YES, the fraternities at St. Johns, what they do as a brotherhood, since 1956 *9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below. a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? YES Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject: b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant? YES c. Is the information understandable to you? YES d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES List terms that need to be defined here: it could use a little refining 10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)? YES Why? What exactly made you want to join a fraternity *11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile. a. What person or persons were interviewed? Iota Nu Delta, Lambda Phi Epsilon b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information. They are the fraternities around campus c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.) Websites, and the interview d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly? YES 12. Does the introduction a. Get readers’ attention? YES b. Present the thesis? YES c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES d. Comments: 13. Does the conclusion a. Remind you of what has been said? YES b Provide something new to think about? YES c. Round the essay off smoothly? YES d. Comments: is this what you wanted?
peace
1

Written Peer Response

Essay writer’s name Saiful Peer’s name Mike Francois

Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.

*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.
It was interesting and I didn’t know that Greeks did all of these things around campus.

2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?
YES What do you see as that purpose?

*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?
People who would be interested are college kids unsure if they want to join a Fraternity or not.

4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?
The essay is directed freshmen in college and it is an appropriate audience for the subject.

5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.

a.

b.

*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.
People shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and stop stereotyping.

Is the thesis specific enough? YES

*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay.
Par. 1 YES Par. 5 YES
Par. 2 YES Par. 6 YES
Par. 3 YES Par. 7 YES
Par. 4 YES Par. 8 YES

*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment: YES, the fraternities at St. Johns, what they do as a brotherhood, since 1956

*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.

a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? YES
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:

b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?
YES

c. Is the information understandable to you? YES

d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES
List terms that need to be defined here: it could use a little refining

10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)?
YES Why? What exactly made you want to join a fraternity

*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.

a. What person or persons were interviewed?
Iota Nu Delta, Lambda Phi Epsilon

b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.
They are the fraternities around campus

c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
Websites, and the interview

d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?
YES

12. Does the introduction
a. Get readers’ attention? YES
b. Present the thesis? YES
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES
d. Comments:

13. Does the conclusion
a. Remind you of what has been said? YES
b Provide something new to think about? YES
c. Round the essay off smoothly? YES
d. Comments:

]]> Comment on 123-Saiful , discovery draft by Huzaifa Ahmed http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/123-saiful-discovery-draft/#comment-115 Huzaifa Ahmed Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:48:14 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-115 Notes for Peer’s Oral Response Essay # _____ Writer _Saiful______________________ Peer Respondent __Huzaifa Ahmed___________ Instructions: Listen to the essay carefully. Take at least two minutes after the reading to complete the following notes, and then share your reactions orally with the writer. Submit the completed form to your teacher at the end of the Peer Response activity. (+) What works? (Praise) Introduction was good. I liked your Idea. I liked the way you wrapped up your essay Everything was well explained. (-) What doesn’t (polish?) Balance your opinions and facts Talk more about the director and producer of the play Notes for Peer’s Oral Response

Essay # _____

Writer _Saiful______________________ Peer Respondent __Huzaifa Ahmed___________

Instructions: Listen to the essay carefully. Take at least two minutes after the reading to complete the following notes, and then share your reactions orally with the writer. Submit the completed form to your teacher at the end of the Peer Response activity.

(+) What works? (Praise)

Introduction was good.
I liked your Idea.
I liked the way you wrapped up your essay
Everything was well explained.

(-) What doesn’t (polish?)

Balance your opinions and facts
Talk more about the director and producer of the play

]]> Comment on 123-Saiful , discovery draft by JOsue Charleron http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/123-saiful-discovery-draft/#comment-114 JOsue Charleron Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:46:42 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-114 Notes for Peer’s Oral Response Essay # ___3__ Writer __________Saiful____________________ Peer Respondent ______Josue___________________ Instructions: Listen to the essay carefully. Take at least two minutes after the reading to complete the following notes, and then share your reactions orally with the writer. Submit the completed form to your teacher at the end of the Peer Response activity. (+) What works? (praise) - good explanation on the play - great detail about issues - good talk about yourself and your opinion (-) What doesn’t (polish) - fix up organization - need someone’s else’s opinion not only yours. (?) Questions? - When did the play happen? How long ago was it? - Who is the director? Notes for Peer’s Oral Response

Essay # ___3__

Writer __________Saiful____________________ Peer Respondent ______Josue___________________

Instructions: Listen to the essay carefully. Take at least two minutes after the reading to complete the following notes, and then share your reactions orally with the writer. Submit the completed form to your teacher at the end of the Peer Response activity.

(+) What works? (praise)
- good explanation on the play
- great detail about issues
- good talk about yourself and your opinion

(-) What doesn’t (polish)
- fix up organization
- need someone’s else’s opinion not only yours.

(?) Questions?
- When did the play happen? How long ago was it?
- Who is the director?

]]> Comment on 123-Saiful , discovery draft by dianaconcepcion http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/123-saiful-discovery-draft/#comment-113 dianaconcepcion Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:45:24 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-113 Positives - introduction raises questions as to what the play is about - gives a summary that informs readers but doesn’t give away too much information - good description of characters - description of New York City’s role in the play - the play in analyzed with detailed description - balance between opinion and facts - conclusions Negatives - could include more information about the director Positives
- introduction raises questions as to what the play is about
- gives a summary that informs readers but doesn’t give away too much information
- good description of characters
- description of New York City’s role in the play
- the play in analyzed with detailed description
- balance between opinion and facts
- conclusions
Negatives
- could include more information about the director

]]> Comment on 3:49 am by Happy Lists http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/04/11/349-am/#comment-112 Happy Lists Mon, 14 Apr 2008 06:01:48 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=44#comment-112 An insomniac or someone who has insomnia? You are not defined by your experience. I hope you can find solutions to your insomnia, or at least some ways to make your time awake more enjoyable! :) An insomniac or someone who has insomnia? You are not defined by your experience. I hope you can find solutions to your insomnia, or at least some ways to make your time awake more enjoyable! :)

]]> Comment on Peace in the Middle East?…Only after the oppression stops…. by Student Health Insurance http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/peace-in-the-middle-eastonly-after-the-oppression-stops%e2%80%a6/#comment-79 Student Health Insurance Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:07:35 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=7#comment-79 <strong>Student Health Insurance</strong> Wow, you put a lot of thought into that. Now, you've gotten me to thinking! Student Health Insurance

Wow, you put a lot of thought into that. Now, you’ve gotten me to thinking!

]]> Comment on The New Usher Album…. GOTTA COP WHEN IT DROPS by iamcypha http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-new-usher-album-gotta-cop-when-it-drops/#comment-78 iamcypha Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:41:47 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-78 it can be found , if you just google it , i personally got the tracks from a good friend of mine... it can be found , if you just google it , i personally got the tracks from a good friend of mine…

]]> Comment on How Blogging Has Runied My Work Schedule by Student Health Insurance http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/03/19/how-blogging-has-runied-my-work-schedule/#comment-77 Student Health Insurance Tue, 01 Apr 2008 08:41:09 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=22#comment-77 <strong>Student Health Insurance</strong> I'm not sure I agree 100%, but I do have to think it through, now. Student Health Insurance

I’m not sure I agree 100%, but I do have to think it through, now.

]]> Comment on The New Usher Album…. GOTTA COP WHEN IT DROPS by cutter http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-new-usher-album-gotta-cop-when-it-drops/#comment-75 cutter Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:36:52 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-75 Did you hear samples of the album online? Where? Did you hear samples of the album online? Where?

]]> Comment on DAMN THOSE TERM PAPERS !!!! by iamcypha http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/2008/03/23/damn-those-term-papers/#comment-71 iamcypha Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:38:30 +0000 http://iamcypha.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-71 man it does pay off , but i still would love to just relax sometimes... man it does pay off , but i still would love to just relax sometimes…

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